I am so proud of myself. For putting the pen down this time, instead of your name. Because I’m sick and tired of writing my way around you, through you, and for you. You don’t deserve my words anymore, you don’t deserve me. So just know that I’ll be living my life to the fullest. Without you.
I want to be happy so fucking bad. I want to appreciate myself, I want to love myself I want to fucking be happy with what I have. I’m not and I hate it because I feel so selfish for needing so much more in my life. I’m not happy with who I see in the mirror, I’m not happy with the person I am, I despise the way I treat myself. I don’t know how to stop it and I feel so fucking stuck. I’m stuck hating myself and I can’t be like this for much longer.
It’s not fair, is it?
How you work so hard
just to stay alive
and to them it’s nothing at all.
While they’re drinking in all life has to offer
you’re drinking yourself to sleep.
They glow so bright they seem to have
swallowed the sun
while all you’ve manage to swallow is
your pride and a bottle of pills.
You never had the world at your fingertips,
it was always just out of reach.
All you ever wanted was to be something.
All you ever wanted was to live.
I want to be happy so fucking bad. I want to appreciate myself, I want to love myself I want to fucking be happy with what I have. I’m not and I hate it because I feel so selfish for needing so much more in my life. I’m not happy with who I see in the mirror, I’m not happy with the person I am, I despise the way I treat myself. I don’t know how to stop it and I feel so fucking stuck. I’m stuck hating myself and I can’t be like this for much longer.